"I don't know, you're weird." Do you know, it's just weird, cos I wanna see you happy, and everytime I try to act as if it doesn't hurt well it weakens me and makes me feel more vulnerable. It's like you're getting stronger and I'm getting weaker. Do you know that? I doubt so. Talking to you today made me realise that, well, I ain't the person who can hold your heart and give you happiness not now or anymore. You're not the person that you used to be the one I wanted who wanted me. I used to be the one for you, now I'm just someone or a face in the crowd. Fading and soon disappearing. I tried to find the answers in your eyes. I searched with much desperation, but all I got was a cold stare. Something I've never seen before but I'd gotta start getting use to. You were there and I wasn't. You're gone, and I'm still waiting for you to come down to me. It's my fault to be a dreamer. But can you blame you? I build my life on dreams hoping upon every shooting star that it would well come true. At least one. But I realised I never did come close much less smell any of it.It's screwed up. I dreamt of a better school, I screwed up. I dreamt of a better future, and now I don't even see one. I dreamt of my dream girl, and just like any dream she disappears when I finally got to my senses. It's just like when you know you're late for an appointment, you have two choices, either you stick by saying, "Better late than never", or you'd just rather miss the whole thing altogether. Give up trying to beat time, give up and move on. I don't wanna give up. It's not me to give up that easily. But as much as I want to give faith a fighting chance. I know deep down I ain't got the chance at even trying to win you back. Harden your heart to reality, face it with no emotions, that way you won't hurt. I used to think that was the way to deal with pain but I realised by doing that it'll only make things worst. It took me 3 whole years to get over michelle. And I don't wanna do that, it'd be unfair to you, me and the third party. It's better to face up to reality now, hurt now, cry now, reminisce now, then to drag it on. Memories kept in my heart, frozen in time. They were good memories, that deserved to be revisited every now and then. But only lacks the warmth and love the past could only thaw. Till then it'd be kept frozen in my heart forever so I am picking up the pieces, and I'm trying not to cut my eager hands. It's strange, it's not even a sadness to accept the things you don't understand. To Mario:I wanna thank you bro, for bringing out the stronger and braver person in me. I'll keep all those words of advice close to my heart. Whenever the going gets tough, I'll remember what you had said and I'll not shed a tear. "Be strong man." Don't worry, I'll be strong :D
To Jovian:Well man, you're gotta know what you really want from her and yourself. Even if it's just to be friends, try to work stuff out. We both know she's too good to lose, just stop and ponder for awhile and don't be rash about stuff. From me to you, it doesn't seem like an unsolvable problem. She's in your court now, treat her well.